Lessons Learned

This past year and a half has been one of revelation, growth, reflection and at times revolution.  During this time I have done a lot of introspection and change.  Here a few things that resonate with me as I prepare to enter 2012 with expectation of nothing but greatness and resolution!

1. Forgiveness ain't easy but it is necessary.  (Remember, what would Jesus do?)  Forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for YOU.  It is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.  Forgive yourself AND forgive others.   Forgiveness opens doors that resentment and bitterness slam shut.   
2. Resilience and Prayer are essential for traveling through life's trials, tribulations and sometimes tragedies.
3. Giving up is NOT an option.  You are stronger than you think---dig deep.  
4. You are what you think and say you are.  Words have POWER.  
5. No one is in charge of your joy and happiness but YOU.  Find joy and happiness in yourself.   Look for the silver lining in all gray clouds.  If you look hard enough, you will find it.
6. Be content, in all situations, while you are moving toward change.  You will not always like a particular situation, but remember, there is a reason for everything.  
7. Count your blessings.  You can't complain when you are counting your blessings.
8. Lead by example.  Walk the walk and Practice what you Preach.
9. Practice random acts of kindness.
10. I am not my hair.  Beauty exudes from within and the exterior things are just bling.
11. Seek to encourage, uplift and inspire others.
12. Treat yourself (body & mind) like it is Golden.  Do not abuse your body, or let anyone else abuse your body or your mental well-being.  Exercise, eat right, nourish your body and soul.  Input positivity into your mind.  Read daily affirmations or devotions.  Get a personal positive mantra.   
13. Do not be afraid to pray for others in need---even if you do not know them.    
14. Remember the divine order for things: God, Family, Everything else.

 What are your lessons learned?

Why Wait?

What are you waiting for?  I always joke that I'm waiting to exhale....  There are times in life when we have to wait--in line at the grocery store, in traffic, in the waiting room at the doctor's office,  at a red light, just to name a few.  These are examples of times when we have no control over the "wait".  There are numerous other things in life that we do have control over and we still wait.  One that comes immediately to mind is the majority of women do not use their fine china very often.  We WAIT for a special occasion or holiday.  We WAIT until our children are gone and grown to pursue our interests; or in some cases we WAIT for our husbands to give us the green light for something.  We WAIT until Monday to start a diet or exercise plan.   We constantly put things on a "waiting list".  A large amount of people don't live to the fullest or live a great and fulfilled life.  People focus on what is not working, what is not happening or complain about all the wrongs of life.  People WAIT until the sun, the moon and the stars line up and their bank accounts are overflowing to live fully or to be happy!  Most people do not show or share their expressions of love until it is to late.  We WAIT.  I have two childhood friends that I have talked to within the past two days....One had a serious car accident that could have ended his life in the matter of minutes and the other, she needs a heart transplant.  Both are in their early forties.  Both are looking at life very differently.  They are not WAITING to live anymore, they know all too well, that tomorrow is not promised... They have made a command decision to live more, complain less; live fully.  I would like to encourage everyone to stop waiting to live and live fully now.  Everyone's definition is and will be different of what a full, great or fulfilled life is.  Yesterday, I answered this question:  What is your definition of a great life?  I wrote my definition down and I will reflect on it daily to remind myself and keep me accountable to how I want to live a great life.  I recommend you do the same.  I want a full life now, no more waiting.  I'm dusting off my fine china!  I am making a decision that I do not want to live with my goals, dreams, interests and aspirations on the "waiting list".   Think about it....What are you waiting for?

What have you considered.....

After seeing "For Colored Girls", I started thinking, what do people really consider when the chips are down, they are disappointed, disgusted, disenchanted or downright depressed.  We all have issues, baggage, situations, and challenges that we deal with.  They can be simple or complex.  They can be easy to solve or downright near impossible.  They can make us want to buckle, bend or collapse under the pressure or at times they might make us consider giving up....At some point when we are "considering" what to do, we should stop and pray.  This will stop any immediate emotional or physical decisions or outbursts.  Yes, I said physical, (I'm keeping it real....)  When we stop and pray it allows God to intervene in the situation and will help us make a Godly decision.  Next, we need to adopt a mantra that will get us through.  Do you have a mantra that will get you through a situation.  Do you have a phrase, a Proverb, a saying; something that your Grandmother or Mother told you, that you can repeat in your head to "snap"  you out of what you were considering....Prayer coupled with positive thinking/positive phrases can help pull us through.  I strongly believe in mind over matter (I started to adopt this 12 years ago--when I delivered a 9.6 pound son with no drugs.)  Positive self talk and positive internal or external messages are essential.  You are what you think.  Even if your situation doesn't appear positive and you don't like what is happening, you can have a positive outlook on it.  Look deep within.  Know there is a reason for everything and a lesson to be learned.   There is always victory after a battle.  You have to fight to win.  Let me encourage you, keep fighting--victory is ahead.  Most importantly, tell yourself that giving up is NOT an option.

Friday Confessions-Beautiful Belly's

I must confess, nothing beats a not-so-good day at work, than a night of fun, laughter and dancing with girlfriends!  Something about laughing and dancing, or laughing while you dance, really cures what ails you, or me in this case.  I signed up for Belly Dancing.  Yep, I sure did and the cool thing is, as much as I've been working on getting a 6-pack; I am delighted to know that in the Belly Dancing world, a 6-pack is not required.  As a matter of fact, voluptuous belly's in their most natural or un-defined state are actually beautiful, sexy even.  Sure, small, thin belly's are in, but in the belly dancing world, big belly's are to be embraced and exposed!!!  I may have found a comfort zone for the belly!  Now, under normal circumstances, I would never consider exposing my belly, however, last night, a girlfriend said--"next week we should wear mid-driffs!"  As I laughed hysterically at her suggestion, I must confess I'm actually contemplating it.  You see, in belly dancing class, I could actually get away with wearing a mid-driff, but no where else!   As you become more seasoned in life (read: as you age) you do gain a certain amount of confidence that you didn't previously have.  However, with that, you have to be a little cautious that you don't get to over-confident and take it too far!  For example, if I do decide to wear a mid-driff for belly dancing purposes only, it will be worn to class, under another longer shirt, then exposed, and re-covered prior to exiting the dance class.  I am one who always "when in Rome--do as the Romans"...so, since I have the dance scarf with coins--shouldn't I add the mid-driff?  I want to encourage everyone on this journey with me, to get involved in something that will really boost your spirits (get your body moving) and add some happiness to your day.     Focus on the positive it will help to cancel out all the negative....be inspired and I hope you dance!

30 Days

I'm back!!! Football season is OVER and I can resume life as I knew it pre-football season.  Before I begin--Make sure you get out and vote.  Be heard, be counted.  Our ancestors didn't have the same rights we have and they paved the way for us-- make sure you do your part and VOTE!  If you don't know the candidates or the issues, check your State Board of Elections website-all the information is there.

Give me 30 days---30 days to re-focus, re-direct, re-charge and re-discover ME.  Football season and back to school causes me to shift most of my focus, time and energy towards my boys.  (it's easier to maintain more of a balance-in the off season)  While I still maintained an exercise routine and ran one race since the last time I blogged, football season leaves me with a ounce of energy and I use that for self-care and self-preservation.  I thought I could do it ALL, but somehow, I wasn't able to.  I learned a valuable lesson this football season.  I CAN do it ALL, just NOT all at once and definitely NOT during football season.  I also learned that when you make a promise to yourself, you should keep it....otherwise the regret isn't worth it.  I don't regret much, but I do regret I didn't keep a promise I made to myself prior to football season.   So, the next 30 days will be about me getting back on task, setting/readjusting some goals, and making some changes.  Anybody with me?  The changes can be whatever you want--and I bet after 30 days---the changes will stick!!! So, who is in?

I Think I Can!!!

I did something really kinda crazy the other day...and honestly, I'd do it again.  Saturday I participated in the Marine Corps Run Amuck-3.5 mile race.  Now, this is not just a run, it's a run with mud, obstacles and some Marine motivation to keep you going.  Now, I was somewhat prepared for the mud and I knew what obstacles would be included, but NOTHING could prepare me for Devil Dog Run.  The sign for Devil Dog Run greeted me as I entered the off road terrain, after I did about 1 mile.  The first mile included a few hills (oh my) on paved road, 10 jumping jacks, a run/jump/high knees thru tires, a run thru the 1st mud pit (wow my shoes are heavy now!) and a jump/climb/crawl over hay bails.  By the time I got to Devil Dog Run, I was thinking, I don't like the Devil, I don't like Dogs...and I'm really not liking this Run right about now!!!!  The off road terrain was comprised of more obstacles, sit ups, flutter kicks, pipes to crawl thru and hills, which really seemed like mountains.  And don't forget MORE MUD at least they said it was mud.  When I had to crawl under the barbed-wire portion--the mud had an odor that reminded me of well, let's just say, NOT mud.  I started thinking wow, people actually sign up for the Marines to do this stuff ALL THE TIME? oh, and it didn't help that they had Marines stationed at each obstacle and throughout the course to "motivate" us.  Ha, Motivate? well, let's just say, something about being yelled at thorough a mega-fone--is really motivating or really aggrevating--you decide!!!  I will say, as with everything, I thought long and hard and got a little philosophical... The sacrafices the Marines and other armed forces make for our freedom, is noteworthy, so while I was "running amuck" I did think about that and thought in amazment and gratitude.  I even tried to imagine how they run that trail in the dark...(no, I didn't start running with my eyes closed!)  All in all, it was a life changing experience and it not only really challenged my body, but it challenged my mind because at one point I had to revert back to the famous saying by the Little Engine that Could....I think I can, I think I can!!!   I pushed myself to step outside the box and into the mud--literally--and I can say, I have a really clear picture of how to overcome obstacles (no pun intended).  I encourage everyone to find something that will cause you step outside your box and overcome the obstacles!  Just remember, me, the mud and the Little Engine that Could!  You can do it!!!

Resilience & Willpower

I recently had an interesting lesson in resilience and willpower all in the form of getting rid of a reptile from my garage.  Yes, reptile seems extreme, but snakes are reptiles right?  Have you ever been challenged to the point where you either show resilience & willpower or you retreat?  My experience with my slimmy invader was that of resilience and willpower.  My strong will for him to leave and find residence elsewhere versus his resilient will to live and not retreat.  The "adventures" leading up to the snake adventure and those that followed were nothing short of comical, yes, another Lucy experience!!!!!!  Afterwards, when Calgon took me away, I thought about it, and said, wow that snake (Sammy) was resilient and had alot of willpower.  I attempted numerous extinquishing techniques and Sammy continued to raise up like, is that all you got?  I was like Glambo (Rambo, but glamorous) in my attempts.  The only thing that was missing was the Uzi and the combat gear!   I just wanted to stun him enough or "drown" him in my extinguishing cocktail, so I could get him OUT OF THE GARAGE!!!  (for all of you thinking, grab a shovel...it just wasn't that simple-Sammy was in a bucket; and for those who are saying grab the bucket and dump it, again--it wasn't that simple).  Suffice it to say, I ended up, running out of the garage, with a full bucket of my extinquishing cocktail and Sammy, and I HURLED it into the wilderness where it belonged!  Needless to say, my cape needs replaced and so does my bucket. All in all, I want to encourage all of you to learn from Sammy--you should rely on (God first) resilience and willpower to get through the journey and challenges of life.  Never give up despite people or circumstances trying to extinquish your will, spirit or your mission.  You have the resilience and willpower, you just have to use it!  The only retreat you should have is at a Spa!

Get a Life!

When we hear or say "Get a Life" it is usually for any number of reasons.  Sometimes we say it to someone or about someone---sometimes somebody says it to us.  Recently someone told me to "get a life" and to be honest, I was shocked and floored, because prior to them telling me this, I thought I had a life and a good one!  It is always interesting to have someone tell you their perception and opinion of and about your life.  Sometimes they have a good and accurate perception and sometimes they do not.  Sometimes we should take it under strong advisement, sometimes we should bank the information for later reflection and sometimes we need to discard it.  When I started to reflect on this declaration spoken to me--I started thinking that when we "get a life" it should be lead and directed by God, otherwise our lives are not worth getting.  I will say this, everyone is not going to agree on "your life", how you live it, where you live it, and who you live it with, but what is important is--how you live your life for and with God and are you walking towards His purpose for your life? Ultimately, would God agree with "your life"?  Yes, we make mistakes, we fall and we sometimes stay down too long.  However, it is essential to learn from our mistakes, our falls, dust ourselves off, put a band-aid on and keep it moving.   As we "get a life" we need to seek God and fall into line with His word and direction for our lives.   Now that we are into the second 1/2 of the year, think for a moment...do you need to Get a Life?  

Happy New Year!!!

Yes, I said Happy New Year!!! No you don't need to check your calendar or rub your eyes and say huh....It's time to re-evaluate, re-focus, re-commit and re-start or start our goals and items we would like to accomplish this year.  How often do we start off the year with a "gung ho" approach to tackling resolutions or goals we set for ourselves, and by mid-year the "gung-ho" feeling has turned to "ho-hum?" Do you have items or goals that you haven't started? It's not to late.  Look at those items and make a realistic plan of how to accomplish those goals.  Write it out--develop a road map to follow.   Get those ideas and goals on paper, it helps with accountability.  If you started something or several somethings and have fizzled or lost the gusto to continue--shift how you are tackling the goal(s), maybe you need a new approach or re-evaluate if this goal is still important and feasible.  Often times we start on a path to change and we have to change the path we are on and go in another direction.  We should always be evolving and improving.  Think about it.  Consider this a chance to start or start again.  Come on, grab those noise makers (and a class of champagne if you want!) and start celebrating a New Year and a New You!! Don't wait start today!!! 

MonTuesday's Motivation

As I approach the eve of my oldest son's elementary school graduation, it has caused me to do some reflection.   While reflecting over the last 11 (almost 12 *gasp*) years of his life, it made me think,  everything in a child's life is marked my milestones.  When they need shots, when they say their first word, their first tooth, when they take that first wobbly step, the first day of school, the first dance, the first date...well you get it.  I started thinking--at some point they emerge into adulthood and we stop counting the milestones (usually after college graduation) unless it is their wedding or the birth of a baby, or some other life event.  It made me wonder, why do we as adults stop counting milestones.  Why do we stop attempting to reach milestones.  I know that life, careers, children and partners, cause us to reshift our focus away from ourselves, however, I think it's important to have a parallel focus.  If you do not work towards reaching milestones, it sends a message to your children and others.  And if you have children--they do leave and then it's just you....  Have you noticed that most middle age people go through a phase where they "re-invent" themselves?  They decide to live in an RV and travel the country.  They leave steady jobs after umpteen years to go raise goats in the outback.  They change themselves so drastically others sometimes don't recognize them.  I think these drastic measures are the cause of them not setting and reaching intermittent parallel milestones during their early years and now they go to drastic extremes to "live".  I'm saying all of this to say--don't wait until you need to make a drastic attempt to live because you are drowning as a result of your focus being tilted so far away from your needs and wants.  It's time for action!!! Do it now, get out a piece of paper,  a journal or notebook and start to write some milestones you want to reach.  Call it what you like, but make a "bucket list", sometimes we have to do things like this to realize, tomorrow isn't promised--Live TODAY.  Dance like no one is watching and enjoy the ride, even if it is a roller-coaster! (put your hands up and scream!)

insane Friday ConFessions

I'm just going to say it...I have reached insanity.  I NEVER thought I would get to this point, but I'm insane in the membrane!!! I worked out 6 nights and included a 9 hole round of golf last night.  I know crazy, isn't it?  I can say, I feel empowered!! I feel great!!! I feel like I can climb Mt. Everest!..oh wait--that might be a stretch!  I don't like the cold weather (as if that's the only reason).  I have finally reached the point where I feel the need to work out, whether I feel like it or not.  I have past the point of it being a want--it is now a need and my body and mind NEED IT.  Wow--this is a huge milestone for me.  I've never been this consistent with a workout plan or healthy eating.  I am still working on cutting out the "whites" in my diet--that is going to be a work in progress, but I am more conscious of it now.    Here is the biggest confession for the week-- I took the plunge and hit the Enter button.  I ENTERED a 5K! YIKES...stay tuned, I might just get to that marathon one day....(or 1/2 marathon).  

Hump Day Helpers

If someone said "name 5 things you want to do over the next 12 months"....would you be able to tell them? Do you have things you want to do? I'm sure we all do.  I spend the majority of my time planning my boys schedule, looking for enriching activities (and sporting activities) and making sure they are where they need to be.  We spend so much time doing for others and planning our families schedule---we rarely plan our schedule or time for ourselves.   I finally came to the conclusion, I'm in charge of the scheduling, so why aren't I scheduling activities for myself--My kids and husband aren't going to schedule activities for me.  I recently started looking into activities that I might enjoy and started matching up my activity dates with my boys activity dates--if there is no conflict--I'm scheduling the activity for myself.   I also started becoming more diligent with what I am interested in and acting upon it.  I looked back over several of my "lists" and noticed only a few things were checked off.  I am now looking at my "lists" with a new approach---write it down and schedule it.  The scheduling it part is the most important because otherwise it just sits there on the list and the list becomes a "wish list".   I believe everyone should have a wish list, but along with the wish list, you should have a Hit List.  The hit list is your target list with realistic timeframes or dates.  The Hit List will be the spring-board to checking things off your list.   Ready, Set Go!!!!--start your Hit List... share it if you like....(plus, when you put it out there...you have to do it--people are watching...you never know who you might inspire.)

Friday ConFessions

I had an epiphany last night as I was preparing for my second workout of the week.  I was thinking hmmmm, I'm supposed to work out three times a week now (since I made that declaration two weeks ago) and I'm one behind.  So I had a choice, prepare to confess I only got two in, or get up early today and get one more in.  At that moment when I was debating what to do, a slogan popped into my mind...."Put your money where your mouth is!"  This was a Close-Up toothpaste commercial and slogan used back in the late 70's.   However, this statement is still used and rings true today.  I had to remind myself that I made a declaration and I had to put my money where my mouth is.  I thought I have to follow through on my goals and continue to do it and not allow for ANY excuses.  I have made a promise to myself to take better care of "me", mentally, physically and spiritually (almost by any means necessary).  As a result, I am going to continue to put my money where my mouth is!!!! and YES, I got that third workout in this morning!!!!

Hump Day Helpers

Happy Hump Day.  Usually Wednesday feel like slump day...Ever feel that mid-afternoon slump?  Most people feel a drop in energy level anytime between 2-5 in the afternoon.  We feel drained, lethargic, and basically want to take a nap.  Here are some tips to beat the mid-afternoon slump.

• Start each day with a good breakfast, which includes a mix of carbs and protein.  Women should eat about 300-400 calories at breakfast (recommended-WebMD).
• Carbs help get you going (energy) and protein fuels the brain and muscles.  The combination of carbs and protein helps to increase concentration levels.
• Eat a well balanced lunch, no matter how busy you are, lunch is essential to help beat the afternoon slump.  It might even prevent that afternoon headache.
• Eat light at lunch, a mix of carbs and protein is recommended.  Heavy lunches or lunches with a lot of fat help increase that lethargic feeling.  
• Take a walk outside
• Drink some water
• Have a healthy mid-afternoon snack.
• yogurt with granola
• select peanut butter crackers instead of a candy bar
• trail mix with nuts (skip the one with the M-n-M's, my personal favorite) 
• eat fresh fruit or veggies
• And of course,  a 20 min. power nap, if possible.  (don't try this at work!)