Lessons Learned

This past year and a half has been one of revelation, growth, reflection and at times revolution.  During this time I have done a lot of introspection and change.  Here a few things that resonate with me as I prepare to enter 2012 with expectation of nothing but greatness and resolution!

1. Forgiveness ain't easy but it is necessary.  (Remember, what would Jesus do?)  Forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for YOU.  It is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.  Forgive yourself AND forgive others.   Forgiveness opens doors that resentment and bitterness slam shut.   
2. Resilience and Prayer are essential for traveling through life's trials, tribulations and sometimes tragedies.
3. Giving up is NOT an option.  You are stronger than you think---dig deep.  
4. You are what you think and say you are.  Words have POWER.  
5. No one is in charge of your joy and happiness but YOU.  Find joy and happiness in yourself.   Look for the silver lining in all gray clouds.  If you look hard enough, you will find it.
6. Be content, in all situations, while you are moving toward change.  You will not always like a particular situation, but remember, there is a reason for everything.  
7. Count your blessings.  You can't complain when you are counting your blessings.
8. Lead by example.  Walk the walk and Practice what you Preach.
9. Practice random acts of kindness.
10. I am not my hair.  Beauty exudes from within and the exterior things are just bling.
11. Seek to encourage, uplift and inspire others.
12. Treat yourself (body & mind) like it is Golden.  Do not abuse your body, or let anyone else abuse your body or your mental well-being.  Exercise, eat right, nourish your body and soul.  Input positivity into your mind.  Read daily affirmations or devotions.  Get a personal positive mantra.   
13. Do not be afraid to pray for others in need---even if you do not know them.    
14. Remember the divine order for things: God, Family, Everything else.

 What are your lessons learned?

Why Wait?

What are you waiting for?  I always joke that I'm waiting to exhale....  There are times in life when we have to wait--in line at the grocery store, in traffic, in the waiting room at the doctor's office,  at a red light, just to name a few.  These are examples of times when we have no control over the "wait".  There are numerous other things in life that we do have control over and we still wait.  One that comes immediately to mind is the majority of women do not use their fine china very often.  We WAIT for a special occasion or holiday.  We WAIT until our children are gone and grown to pursue our interests; or in some cases we WAIT for our husbands to give us the green light for something.  We WAIT until Monday to start a diet or exercise plan.   We constantly put things on a "waiting list".  A large amount of people don't live to the fullest or live a great and fulfilled life.  People focus on what is not working, what is not happening or complain about all the wrongs of life.  People WAIT until the sun, the moon and the stars line up and their bank accounts are overflowing to live fully or to be happy!  Most people do not show or share their expressions of love until it is to late.  We WAIT.  I have two childhood friends that I have talked to within the past two days....One had a serious car accident that could have ended his life in the matter of minutes and the other, she needs a heart transplant.  Both are in their early forties.  Both are looking at life very differently.  They are not WAITING to live anymore, they know all too well, that tomorrow is not promised... They have made a command decision to live more, complain less; live fully.  I would like to encourage everyone to stop waiting to live and live fully now.  Everyone's definition is and will be different of what a full, great or fulfilled life is.  Yesterday, I answered this question:  What is your definition of a great life?  I wrote my definition down and I will reflect on it daily to remind myself and keep me accountable to how I want to live a great life.  I recommend you do the same.  I want a full life now, no more waiting.  I'm dusting off my fine china!  I am making a decision that I do not want to live with my goals, dreams, interests and aspirations on the "waiting list".   Think about it....What are you waiting for?

What have you considered.....

After seeing "For Colored Girls", I started thinking, what do people really consider when the chips are down, they are disappointed, disgusted, disenchanted or downright depressed.  We all have issues, baggage, situations, and challenges that we deal with.  They can be simple or complex.  They can be easy to solve or downright near impossible.  They can make us want to buckle, bend or collapse under the pressure or at times they might make us consider giving up....At some point when we are "considering" what to do, we should stop and pray.  This will stop any immediate emotional or physical decisions or outbursts.  Yes, I said physical, (I'm keeping it real....)  When we stop and pray it allows God to intervene in the situation and will help us make a Godly decision.  Next, we need to adopt a mantra that will get us through.  Do you have a mantra that will get you through a situation.  Do you have a phrase, a Proverb, a saying; something that your Grandmother or Mother told you, that you can repeat in your head to "snap"  you out of what you were considering....Prayer coupled with positive thinking/positive phrases can help pull us through.  I strongly believe in mind over matter (I started to adopt this 12 years ago--when I delivered a 9.6 pound son with no drugs.)  Positive self talk and positive internal or external messages are essential.  You are what you think.  Even if your situation doesn't appear positive and you don't like what is happening, you can have a positive outlook on it.  Look deep within.  Know there is a reason for everything and a lesson to be learned.   There is always victory after a battle.  You have to fight to win.  Let me encourage you, keep fighting--victory is ahead.  Most importantly, tell yourself that giving up is NOT an option.

Friday Confessions-Beautiful Belly's

I must confess, nothing beats a not-so-good day at work, than a night of fun, laughter and dancing with girlfriends!  Something about laughing and dancing, or laughing while you dance, really cures what ails you, or me in this case.  I signed up for Belly Dancing.  Yep, I sure did and the cool thing is, as much as I've been working on getting a 6-pack; I am delighted to know that in the Belly Dancing world, a 6-pack is not required.  As a matter of fact, voluptuous belly's in their most natural or un-defined state are actually beautiful, sexy even.  Sure, small, thin belly's are in, but in the belly dancing world, big belly's are to be embraced and exposed!!!  I may have found a comfort zone for the belly!  Now, under normal circumstances, I would never consider exposing my belly, however, last night, a girlfriend said--"next week we should wear mid-driffs!"  As I laughed hysterically at her suggestion, I must confess I'm actually contemplating it.  You see, in belly dancing class, I could actually get away with wearing a mid-driff, but no where else!   As you become more seasoned in life (read: as you age) you do gain a certain amount of confidence that you didn't previously have.  However, with that, you have to be a little cautious that you don't get to over-confident and take it too far!  For example, if I do decide to wear a mid-driff for belly dancing purposes only, it will be worn to class, under another longer shirt, then exposed, and re-covered prior to exiting the dance class.  I am one who always "when in Rome--do as the Romans"...so, since I have the dance scarf with coins--shouldn't I add the mid-driff?  I want to encourage everyone on this journey with me, to get involved in something that will really boost your spirits (get your body moving) and add some happiness to your day.     Focus on the positive it will help to cancel out all the negative....be inspired and I hope you dance!

30 Days

I'm back!!! Football season is OVER and I can resume life as I knew it pre-football season.  Before I begin--Make sure you get out and vote.  Be heard, be counted.  Our ancestors didn't have the same rights we have and they paved the way for us-- make sure you do your part and VOTE!  If you don't know the candidates or the issues, check your State Board of Elections website-all the information is there.

Give me 30 days---30 days to re-focus, re-direct, re-charge and re-discover ME.  Football season and back to school causes me to shift most of my focus, time and energy towards my boys.  (it's easier to maintain more of a balance-in the off season)  While I still maintained an exercise routine and ran one race since the last time I blogged, football season leaves me with a ounce of energy and I use that for self-care and self-preservation.  I thought I could do it ALL, but somehow, I wasn't able to.  I learned a valuable lesson this football season.  I CAN do it ALL, just NOT all at once and definitely NOT during football season.  I also learned that when you make a promise to yourself, you should keep it....otherwise the regret isn't worth it.  I don't regret much, but I do regret I didn't keep a promise I made to myself prior to football season.   So, the next 30 days will be about me getting back on task, setting/readjusting some goals, and making some changes.  Anybody with me?  The changes can be whatever you want--and I bet after 30 days---the changes will stick!!! So, who is in?

I Think I Can!!!

I did something really kinda crazy the other day...and honestly, I'd do it again.  Saturday I participated in the Marine Corps Run Amuck-3.5 mile race.  Now, this is not just a run, it's a run with mud, obstacles and some Marine motivation to keep you going.  Now, I was somewhat prepared for the mud and I knew what obstacles would be included, but NOTHING could prepare me for Devil Dog Run.  The sign for Devil Dog Run greeted me as I entered the off road terrain, after I did about 1 mile.  The first mile included a few hills (oh my) on paved road, 10 jumping jacks, a run/jump/high knees thru tires, a run thru the 1st mud pit (wow my shoes are heavy now!) and a jump/climb/crawl over hay bails.  By the time I got to Devil Dog Run, I was thinking, I don't like the Devil, I don't like Dogs...and I'm really not liking this Run right about now!!!!  The off road terrain was comprised of more obstacles, sit ups, flutter kicks, pipes to crawl thru and hills, which really seemed like mountains.  And don't forget MORE MUD at least they said it was mud.  When I had to crawl under the barbed-wire portion--the mud had an odor that reminded me of well, let's just say, NOT mud.  I started thinking wow, people actually sign up for the Marines to do this stuff ALL THE TIME? oh, and it didn't help that they had Marines stationed at each obstacle and throughout the course to "motivate" us.  Ha, Motivate? well, let's just say, something about being yelled at thorough a mega-fone--is really motivating or really aggrevating--you decide!!!  I will say, as with everything, I thought long and hard and got a little philosophical... The sacrafices the Marines and other armed forces make for our freedom, is noteworthy, so while I was "running amuck" I did think about that and thought in amazment and gratitude.  I even tried to imagine how they run that trail in the dark...(no, I didn't start running with my eyes closed!)  All in all, it was a life changing experience and it not only really challenged my body, but it challenged my mind because at one point I had to revert back to the famous saying by the Little Engine that Could....I think I can, I think I can!!!   I pushed myself to step outside the box and into the mud--literally--and I can say, I have a really clear picture of how to overcome obstacles (no pun intended).  I encourage everyone to find something that will cause you step outside your box and overcome the obstacles!  Just remember, me, the mud and the Little Engine that Could!  You can do it!!!

Resilience & Willpower

I recently had an interesting lesson in resilience and willpower all in the form of getting rid of a reptile from my garage.  Yes, reptile seems extreme, but snakes are reptiles right?  Have you ever been challenged to the point where you either show resilience & willpower or you retreat?  My experience with my slimmy invader was that of resilience and willpower.  My strong will for him to leave and find residence elsewhere versus his resilient will to live and not retreat.  The "adventures" leading up to the snake adventure and those that followed were nothing short of comical, yes, another Lucy experience!!!!!!  Afterwards, when Calgon took me away, I thought about it, and said, wow that snake (Sammy) was resilient and had alot of willpower.  I attempted numerous extinquishing techniques and Sammy continued to raise up like, is that all you got?  I was like Glambo (Rambo, but glamorous) in my attempts.  The only thing that was missing was the Uzi and the combat gear!   I just wanted to stun him enough or "drown" him in my extinguishing cocktail, so I could get him OUT OF THE GARAGE!!!  (for all of you thinking, grab a shovel...it just wasn't that simple-Sammy was in a bucket; and for those who are saying grab the bucket and dump it, again--it wasn't that simple).  Suffice it to say, I ended up, running out of the garage, with a full bucket of my extinquishing cocktail and Sammy, and I HURLED it into the wilderness where it belonged!  Needless to say, my cape needs replaced and so does my bucket. All in all, I want to encourage all of you to learn from Sammy--you should rely on (God first) resilience and willpower to get through the journey and challenges of life.  Never give up despite people or circumstances trying to extinquish your will, spirit or your mission.  You have the resilience and willpower, you just have to use it!  The only retreat you should have is at a Spa!